What are you doing this weekend?

The Fetish Fair Fleamarket (TM) has a new home, and it's not just a hotel, not just a venue, but a whole city. From January 11th through 13th, 2008, the New England Leather Alliance will bring the biggest leather/fetish/BDSM event in New England to Providence, Rhode Island, where the event will take place in the Rhode Island Convention Center and three (or more) neighboring hotels.

Meg and I will let you know how it goes.

Civil Unions, Domestic Partnerships, & Same-Sex Marriage, Oh My!

With the new civil union bill taking effect in New Hampshire as of January 1st, now seems like a good time to review same-sex marriage-ish laws like civil unions, domestic partnerships, and straight up same-sex marriage in the United States.

New Hampshire (2008) is the fourth state to approve civil unions along with Vermont (2000), Connecticut (2005), and New Jersey (2007). So what is a civil union? Essentially a civil union is a more conservative-friendly term for state-approved gay marriage. Civil unions provide same-sex couples with most of the same rights as other-sex couples. Of course these include the approximately 400 rights that the state provides but not the more than 1,000 provided by the federal government. Because of the Defense of Marriage Act, the federal government legally denies these rights to same-sex couples even if their civil union, domestic partnership, or same-sex marriage is recognized in their state. These 1,138 federal rights include hospital or prison visitation, the right to make medical decisions on behalf of partner, bereavement leave, access to health insurance and pension, social security survivor benefits, tax breaks, and veterans benefits. A complete description of all of the federal rights of marriage can be found here.

So what is a domestic partnership? A domestic partnership is a form of state recognized same-sex coupling that generally offers less rights than civil unions. However, in California and Oregon domestic partnerships offer the same rights as civil unions. This does not mean that there isn’t a catch. In California (2000/2005) for example, domestic partnerships are only recognized if one member of the couple is at least 62-years-old. Arbitrary much? And of course Oregon passed a domestic partnership bill last year that should have taken effect on January 1st, but court challenges are delaying the process. The states that offer domestic partnerships with less rights than civil unions are Maine (2004), Washington (2007), the District of Columbia (1992/2002), and in New Jersey (2004) for those, again, 62 and up.

My current state of residence, Massachusetts, is the only one that allows same-sex marriage as of 2004. Fun Fact: Iowa legalized same-sex marriage on August 31, 2007 but is awaiting further court review before allowing the law to take effect. Same-sex marriage is different than civil unions or domestic partnerships because it offers exactly the same state rights to same-sex couples. New Mexico and Rhode Island residents who are married in Massachusetts are recognized as married in their home state.

In summary, civil unions and domestic partnerships provide a different set of rights in each state. They tend to offer less rights to same-sex couples, especially in the case of domestic partnerships. Same-sex marriage is the only 100% equal marriage in the eyes of the state but, like civil union and domestic partnership, is not recognized by the federal government. Please feel free to provide any further information, corrections, or opinions about civil unions, domestic partnerships, or same-sex marriage in the comments.

MySpace's Queer Younger Sibling

outSMACK.com is a great online resource and social network for LGBT youth that encourages creativity, education, and connection. I recommend checking it out and passing it on to that lonely out teen you know.

Quick Hit: Gender Bending Celebs

Worth1000.com ran a contest for Photoshop nerds to put a gender bending twist on photos of female celebs. Due to copyrights I can't post any of the pictures, but you should check 'em out.

Thanks Jamie for the link!

San Diego Hearts the Gays

The demands of starting grad school have made it very difficult to justify spending time on posts, but this one is a must-see. Jerry Sanders, the Republican mayor of my home-city of San Diego, is passing a resolution in support of same sex marriage. He was expected to veto the resolution, but announced in this emotional speech that he had to do what he knows is right, "The concept of a 'separate but equal' institution is not something that I can support."

In case you are not familiar with San Diego politics, being gay in San Diego is no fun. Like I have already had to explain to so many here in Boston, San Diego is not just like San Francisco. They are far apart in both location and culture. Co-starting the first GSA at my high school was shitty. The group was publicly ridiculed by both students and faculty. I hope that the people of San Diego have watched this speech and that some can internalize its meaning. I also hope that Sanders will be re-elected next year but as a gay rights supporting Republican, I doubt it.

Taking Feministing's lead, I hope you all will send Sanders a message showing your gratitude and support. That took some kind of bravery.

Ouch, That's My Identity

So I came out as bisexual in high school and since then I have met many a person with much to say about my sexual identity. From the straight, male jock to the radical, third-wave, lesbian feminist many a stinging remark has been made about bisexuals. Here is a quick and handy definition of bisexual I've compiled from these experts over the last decade:

Bi-sex-u-al [bahy-sek-shoo-uhl]: A person who has the capacity to engage in sexual and/or romantic relationships with other people regardless of gender as long as they are never monogamous or date less than two people (of different genders) at once.

The bisexual male does not exist as he is actually just about to call you and tell you that he's gay.

The bisexual female does exist, but can be difficult to find in a sea of heterosexual female liars. I mean, I love women, just not the fake bisexual ones. You know those girls, you sleep with her for a while, maybe even have a relationship, but then after that's done, she dates a guy. Liars.

At least lesbians are honest, when they leave you, they go and date another girl. Unless they're a lesbian who dates guys sometimes, but I digress.

The bisexual female can be defined by her previous and current sexual and romantic partners. In order to be a real bisexual a woman must have reached orgasm with or been a girlfriend to 60-100% female and 0-40% male partners. Any fewer female and any greater male means she is a heterosexual liar and cannot be trusted. Any bisexual female who is currently in a committed relationship with a male is a heterosexual liar.

Of course all gender is an illusion and no one should have to pick or be defined by their gender.

Gays: Too Sexy for School

I really do apologize for posting such an inappropriate image on a Sunday. I understand if you need to block it out with your thumb or a post-it note or something less "illicit" and "suggestive". I mean "I don't have a problem at all", it's just that the picture is so provocative, especially for homophobes.

This June the Newark Public Schools superintendent, Marion A. Bolden, distributed yearbooks with a conspicuous black blob over this photo on Andre Jackson's personal senior page. Jackson took this photo of him and his boyfriend which is very similar to many photos of hetero couples deemed appropriate to publish. I mean shit, there is even a picture "of a young man and a young woman kiss[ing] on a couch, his hand on her leg as she sits on his lap" on the page across from Jackson's. But you've got it all wrong, this is not about them being gay. Clearly.

And I was hoping we were getting somewhere in American schools.

Thanks Feministing for the link.

Why Did God Make Sunburns?

Maybe to punish sinful light-skinned dykes? Yesterday’s San Francisco Dyke March became quite the display of God’s wrath on those with light dyke skin. Well, of course he’s angry, those bitches were rallying for healthcare for all and we all know God only provides healthcare to the deserving.

But seriously, the scene in Dolores Park was pretty amazing. I don’t know the exact numbers, but there had to have been a couple thousand drunk, exuberant, tattooed queer women gathered for the festivities. These festivities included ignoring the stage show, seeing & being seen, avoiding ex-girlfriends, consuming delicious food & drink, peeing in the bushes, and obtaining free breast exams. (Most of which were provided by licensed professionals!)

And here is where I admit that I did not stick around for the actual marching. All of the excitement in combination with two previous late nights out, six hours of sun, and of course the booze just did me in. But it really was a fantastic time. Wonderful folks I hadn’t seen in forever, lots of new friends I can’t wait to see again, and then the array of interesting strangers that I won’t soon forget. Back in my quiet Santa Cruz apartment, they are all missed. All I have now is a couple photos, a free breast exam t-shirt, and of course my sunburn.

Gay Pride: Santa Cruz Style

It seems I am finally recovering from mono (no pregnancy guys, just a nasty virus). Sunday was my first big day out after too much bed rest. Luckily for me, it was also Santa Cruz Pride. I walked down to the parade on Pacific Avenue and took some snapshots:

As usual, a heartening mix of music and chanting filled the street and I clapped along. I am so thankful to live in a place where this is not only tolerated or accepted, but appreciated. I overheard a woman next to me, clearly a Santa Cruz native, explaining Pride to a traveler. The man was saying that nothing like this exists where he is from. I was stoked to see him place a gay rights sticker on his shirt.

Unfortunately I missed the Dyke March and subsequent celebrations, but I did manage to get my dance on at the Dakota midday on Sunday. Did you know that there's a skylight above that dance floor? It was like an afternoon at Babylon, let me tell ya.

Yup, the gays were definitely out in full force this weekend, and I'm excited to do it all over again in San Francisco on the 23rd & 24th! Who's with me?